Why You Feel Overwhelmed All the Time (Even When Life Looks Fine)
Back in 2017, it looked like I had it all.
A career that was thriving. A cosy little family. A wonderful husband. Two holidays abroad every year. We’d just extended the house and it finally felt like somewhere we could stay forever.
If you’d told 19-year-old me that this would be my life, she wouldn’t have believed you. It would have sounded far too good to be true.
From the outside, everything looked fine.
I was exercising, socialising, studying, working. I had responsibility in my career much earlier than I expected. I was raising two children, one with diagnosed support needs. Life was full, busy, and in many ways, good.
But inside, I felt constantly overwhelmed.
Not just busy. Not just tired. Overwhelmed in a way that felt all-consuming. Like I was trapped in my own life, even though it was a life I’d worked hard to build.
I remember walking to work some mornings and thinking, “what if I just kept going… straight to the airport… and got on a plane somewhere far away?” Somewhere quiet. Somewhere with no responsibility. Somewhere I could just sit with a drink on a beach and breathe.
I’d let myself imagine it for a moment. The freedom. The space.
And then I’d walk into work and carry on as normal.
When Everything Feels Like Too Much
There were moments of real joy during that time.
I felt overwhelming love when my children drew me pictures. I felt excitement when things were going well. I felt happiness on holidays and weekends away.
But my emotions were heightened in every direction.
Overwhelmed with worry before meetings.
Overwhelmed with frustration when things didn’t go to plan.
Overwhelmed with responsibility, constantly.
Tears were never far away.
I had so much compassion for everyone around me. I wanted people to feel happy, supported, cared for. I did everything I could to make that happen.
But I didn’t offer that same compassion to myself.
I didn’t like being the centre of attention. I avoided photos. Speaking in meetings made me anxious. I felt like an imposter, as though I’d somehow ended up in a role I didn’t truly deserve, and now I had to keep proving myself.
None of this was visible to anyone else.
On the outside, I was positive. Capable. Getting on with things. One of those people who always looks like they’re managing.
Inside, it was a very different story.
When Life Becomes a Tick Box Exercise
Life slowly turned into something to get through.
Just make it to the end of the day.
Tick everything off the list.
Start again tomorrow.
I didn’t realise how much pressure I was under. It built gradually, quietly, until it became my normal.
I felt like I was constantly on edge, waiting for the next thing to happen. The next problem. The next demand. The next emotional high or low.
It was like treading water, never fully sinking, but never able to rest either.
Getting through the day while keeping everyone else happy became the goal.
What Was Really Happening Beneath the Surface
Looking back now, I can see it clearly.
I was doing far too much for far too many people, and not nearly enough for myself.
But it went deeper than that. I had something called “high functioning anxiety” – but I didn’t know it.
My nervous system was constantly being triggered, not just by what I was doing, but by what I believed.
I believed that happiness came after hard work, so I kept pushing myself, waiting to feel better.
I believed I wasn’t good enough, so I kept studying, trying to prove myself.
I believed other people’s opinions mattered more than mine, so I became a people pleaser.
I believed rest was lazy, so I filled every spare moment.
I believed I had to achieve more to be taken seriously.
All of those beliefs kept my mind busy and my body in a constant state of stress.
The Impact of Chronic Stress
At the same time, my body was starting to struggle.
I wasn’t eating properly.
I wasn’t sleeping properly.
I was exercising, but not always in a way that supported my body.
Even when I was doing “healthy” things, my stress levels were so high that my body couldn’t fully benefit from them.
This continued for a couple of years, until I eventually hit rock bottom.
And the truth is, I don’t remember much about that time.
Because I wasn’t fully there.
My body was going through the motions, but my mind was somewhere else entirely.
There was also the constant guilt that comes with being a working mum. Feeling like you’re never quite in the right place. At work thinking about home, and at home thinking about work.
What I Wish I’d Known Back Then
If I could go back and speak to myself at that time, I wouldn’t tell myself to do more.
I’d tell myself to pause.
To breathe.
I’d say:
‘You are already more than enough.
You don’t have to earn your happiness.
Rest is not lazy, it’s necessary.
The only opinion that truly matters is your own…
You don’t need to prove yourself to be respected. You already are.’
I’d remind myself that joy isn’t something waiting at the end of hard work. It’s something you create in small, everyday moments.
I’d encourage myself to eat regularly, to stop taking work home, to say no more often.
To leave space in the day to do nothing at all.
To feel emotions instead of pushing them away.
To pick up a book again. To sleep without relying on a glass of wine. To step back from the noise of the world.
And most importantly, I’d say:
When you’re ready, get support.
Because those beliefs you’re carrying don’t have to stay with you forever.
A Little Reminder
If you’re reading this and thinking, this sounds like me, you’re not alone.
You can feel overwhelmed even when life looks good on paper.
It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.
It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
It simply means something inside needs your attention.
Not more pressure. Not more doing.
Just a little space to pause, reflect, and gently start to shift what’s no longer working for you.
Because you deserve to feel calm in your own life.
Sarah Fish is an advanced hypnotherapist specialising in helping women with anxiety and overwhelm overcome nervousness, fear and overthinking. She supports women to stop dwelling on the past, to love themselves exactly as they are, and to build a life that they enjoy.
You can start to make tiny changes by following the steps in her book ‘Tranquil Days Start In The Brain’ – it’s only short, so it won’t overwhelm you. You can find it at the link below.