I know how it feels.
I’ve spent most of my life as an overthinker, and sleep has often been a struggle. Even as a child, I remember lying in bed wide awake, doing forward rolls just to burn off energy, my mind full of questions about everything.
As I grew older, those thoughts changed.
The curiosity turned into worry.
Worries about school. About going somewhere new or meeting new people. And then came adulthood, a career, children – so many responsibilities.
Suddenly, there was even more to think about.
Am I ready for that meeting?
Did I wash the kids’ PE kit?
When is parents’ evening?
Will it clash with work?
How am I going to fit everything in?
By the time evening came, my body was tired… but my brain wasn’t.
Why You Overthink at Night
Many people assume overthinking means something is wrong.
But actually, your brain is doing exactly what it’s designed to do.
During the day, you’re busy. You’re focused on tasks, responsibilities, other people. There’s very little space to process your own thoughts.
Then evening arrives and you finally sit down. You’re at home. Safe. Still.
And your brain goes, “Right… now we can deal with everything.”
So it brings up:
tasks you didn’t finish
conversations that didn’t sit right
worries about tomorrow
things you said or wish you hadn’t said
It’s your brain’s way of checking: Are you safe? Is everything under control?
The problem is, those thoughts don’t feel calm.
They feel overwhelming. Anxious. Heavy.
Your body responds as if something is wrong, even though nothing is actually happening in that moment. The thing is, your mind doesn’t know the difference between real threat and perceived threat.
Whatever you imagine, your brain believes to be real. This causes stress hormones to rise, then your mind speeds up, and sleep feels further away than ever.
Your brain isn’t trying to keep you awake – it’s trying to protect you.
But it won’t switch off until it feels like those thoughts have been acknowledged.
How to Calm an Overthinking Mind at Night
The key isn’t to force your brain to be quiet – it’s to show it that everything is taken care of.
Here’s a simple way to start.
1. Write Everything Down
When your mind is racing, get the thoughts out of your head and onto something external.
You can use:
a notebook and pen
your phone notes
even an email to yourself (especially for work tasks)
Write down everything that’s circling in your mind.
No filtering or organising yet. Just get it all out.
This alone can bring a sense of relief.
2. Look for What You Can Share
You don’t have to carry everything yourself.
As you look at your list, ask:
Can someone help me with this?
If yes, write their name next to it.
This could be a:
colleague
partner
friend
family member
If it feels hard to ask for help, try this:
Who would help me if I was unwell?
Often, the support is there. We just don’t allow ourselves to use it.
3. Prioritise Simply
Now it’s time to give each task a number (number 1 being to ask for help).
Start with the most important, then work your way down.
There’s no perfect order. You might choose:
quickest first
most urgent first
easiest first
Just give your brain some structure.
4. Let Go of What Doesn’t Matter
This step is important.
Look at the lower priority items and ask:
Is this actually necessary?
Or is it something you feel you ‘should’ do? (Please don’t ‘should’ all over everything!)
Cross out anything that isn’t essential.
A helpful way to think about this:
If I was ill tomorrow, would I still do this?
Is the answer no? Then it probably doesn’t need to stay on your list.
5. Schedule It
Now give each remaining task a time or day.
You don’t have to plan your whole week. Just give your brain a sense of when things will happen.
You can:
write it in your diary
set reminders
block time in your calendar
This is the moment your brain starts to relax.
Because now, instead of holding everything in your head, it knows:
This is being dealt with.
How to “Switch Off” After Overthinking
Once you’ve done this, you need a clear signal to your brain that it’s time to move on.
Think of it like leaving work at the end of the day.
Here are a few simple ways to do that….
Move Your Body
Stand up. Stretch your arms above your head. Take a deep breath in, then let it out and clap your hands.
It sounds simple, but it sends a physical signal to your brain that something has shifted.
Change Your Environment
If you can, move to a different room, because even a small change in environment can help your mind reset.
Do Something With Your Hands
Choose something easy and calming:
reading
cooking
colouring
Try to avoid scrolling on your phone, as this can keep your brain stimulated and pull you back into overthinking.
What If You Wake Up in the Night?
If your mind starts again at 2am, keep it simple.
Write down the main thought.
Take a sip of water.
Go to the bathroom if needed.
Then return to bed.
You’ve acknowledged the thought. That’s enough.
A Simple Shift That Changes Everything
If the worry feels big, ask yourself:
What would make this easier for me?
Sometimes it’s:
arriving early
preparing in advance
bringing something comforting
giving yourself more time
Small adjustments can reduce a lot of mental pressure.
One Last Thing to Help You Sleep
Before you go to sleep, remind your brain that you are safe.
A simple way to do this is to think about your “glads” from the day:
What went well today?
5 things you are grateful for.
Moments that made you smile, even briefly
These small moments help shift your focus away from threat and towards safety.
Overthinking at night doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means your brain is trying to look after you.
With a little guidance and consistency, you can teach it to slow down, feel safe, and finally rest.
Sarah Fish is an advanced hypnotherapist specialising in helping women with anxiety overcome nervousness, fear and overthinking. She supports women to stop dwelling on the past, to love themselves exactly as they are, and to build a life that they enjoy. You can find out more about her services below.