Everyone experiences sleep problems at some point in their lifetime. And there’s so much advice out there. Go to bed earlier. Avoid caffeine. Stop having naps. Put your phone away. Make sure your bedroom is dark.
All of these things can help. But they don’t necessarily address the underlying reason why sleep problems occur in the first place.
It’s not always as simple as avoiding caffeine. Unless, of course, caffeine is the one and only thing you’ve noticed is causing a problem for you.
To really understand sleep, we need to take a bird’s-eye view of the biochemical changes happening in your brain and body over a 24-hour period.
Stress and sleep problems
For many people, one of the biggest contributors to sleep problems is stress.
But stress affecting sleep isn’t simply about lying awake worrying or overthinking.
Those racing thoughts are a symptom of what’s happening, rather than necessarily being the cause.
Your body has a finely tuned system designed to help you feel awake and alert during the day and sleepy at night. Stress can interfere with that system.
And to understand why, we need to meet a few of the chemicals involved.
Cortisol: your stress hormone
Cortisol has developed a bit of a bad reputation, but we actually need it.
Cortisol helps your body respond to demands. Levels naturally rise towards the morning, helping you wake up and prepare for the day. They should then generally fall as the day progresses, reaching lower levels around the time you’re preparing for sleep.
The problem comes when your brain and body are repeatedly receiving the message that you need to stay alert.
Deadlines. Rushing. Checking emails. Trying to remember everything. Worrying about what you’ve forgotten. Saying yes when you really want to say no. Replaying conversations. Thinking about tomorrow.
Your body doesn’t necessarily distinguish between an immediate physical threat and the constant psychological pressure of everyday life.
If your stress response keeps being activated, switching off at 10pm because you’ve put your phone in a drawer isn’t necessarily going to be easy.
Melatonin: your sleep hormone
Melatonin plays an important role in regulating your sleep-wake cycle.
Its production is closely connected to your internal body clock and exposure to light and darkness. As evening approaches and it gets darker, your brain receives signals that encourage melatonin production, helping prepare your body for sleep.
This is one reason why daylight during the day and reducing bright light late at night can support healthy sleep.
But melatonin doesn’t work in isolation.
Serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin matter too
There are other chemical messengers involved in how you feel and function throughout the day.
Serotonin is involved in mood and many other bodily processes and is also used by the body to make melatonin.
Dopamine plays an important role in motivation, reward, attention and learning.
Oxytocin is associated with social connection, bonding and feelings of safety.
Rather than thinking of sleep as something that begins when your head hits the pillow, it can be more helpful to think about what your brain and body have experienced throughout the entire day.
How the sleep-wake cycle is meant to work
Very simply, your body is designed to move through periods of greater alertness and greater rest.
In the morning, changes in hormones, light exposure and your circadian rhythm help you become alert.
You go about your day.
As evening approaches, your body should gradually receive more signals that it’s safe to reduce alertness and prepare for sleep.
But then add chronic stress into that picture.
Your body has spent all day receiving messages telling it:
Keep going. Stay alert. There’s more to do. Don’t forget anything. Be prepared.
And then at bedtime you expect your brain to immediately respond to:
Okay, switch off now.
No wonder it sometimes struggles.
But what created the stress?
This is where I think we need to look beyond sleep hygiene.
Sometimes it’s obvious. You may be going through a particularly difficult period at work or home.
But sometimes stress is being created and maintained by everyday habits.
Perhaps you:
- Check your work emails constantly.
- Never really take a lunch break.
- Say yes automatically.
- Leave everything until the last minute.
- Constantly check that you’ve done things correctly.
- Don’t rest until everything on your list is finished.
- Replay mistakes long after everybody else has forgotten about them.
Eventually these behaviours become automatic. You don’t consciously decide to do them anymore.
They’re simply what you do.
And habits can be changed.
What created the habit in the first place?
This is the part I find particularly interesting.
Instead of only asking:
“How do I stop doing this?”
I like to explore:
“Why did my brain decide this behaviour was useful in the first place?”
Underneath a habit there may be a belief you’ve developed about yourself or the world around you.
Perhaps you believe….
“I have to work harder than everyone else to prove myself”
“Saying no makes me selfish”
“Making a mistake means I’ve failed”
“Resting is lazy”
“I have to keep everybody else happy”
“Something bad will happen if I’m not prepared”
Those beliefs can influence your behaviour. Your behaviour becomes habitual. Those habits contribute to stress. And chronic stress can affect your ability to switch off and sleep.
Suddenly your sleep problems don’t look quite so much like a bedtime problem.
Why simply breaking the habit might not be enough
You can certainly decide to stop checking your emails after 7pm.
And that’s a positive change.
But if the belief underneath the behaviour is still:
“I need to be available or people will think I’m not good at my job,”
you haven’t necessarily addressed what’s driving the behaviour.
You may stop checking your emails, but find another way to satisfy the same underlying need.
That’s why I’m interested in what’s happening underneath the habit.
What do you believe?
What emotions are attached to that belief?
And what has your brain learned to do in response?
Emotions can be a catalyst for habits
Habits aren’t always created because we’re lazy or lack willpower.
Quite often, behaviours serve a purpose.
They might help you avoid discomfort, feel more in control, gain reassurance or reduce an uncomfortable emotion temporarily.
If a behaviour makes you feel better, even briefly, your brain can learn:
That worked. Let’s do it again.
Repeat that enough times and you have a habit.
Understanding that can be far more useful than criticising yourself for not having enough discipline.
Where hypnotherapy can help
This is one of the reasons I use hypnotherapy when working with patterns of stress, anxiety and overthinking.
Rather than only telling yourself to stop doing something, we can explore the thoughts, emotions, beliefs and automatic responses that may be helping to keep that pattern going.
Hypnotherapy isn’t about taking control away from you. For me, the aim is the opposite.
It’s about helping you understand your own patterns and giving you tools to change them, so you don’t need me forever.
Sleep problems might start long before bedtime
If you’re struggling to sleep, absolutely look at your caffeine intake, bedtime routine, bedroom environment and screen use.
But don’t only look at the hour before bed.
Look at your day.
Look at your habits.
Look at the pressure you put yourself under.
And perhaps most importantly, look at the beliefs that are driving those behaviours.
Your sleep problems may be your body’s way of telling you that it hasn’t had enough opportunities to feel safe enough to properly switch off.
Changing a long-standing pattern takes confidence. But habits can change. Beliefs can change. And the way you respond to stress can change too.
Change is possible, and it can be easier than you think.
I’m here when you’re ready.