When I look back at a certain photo of myself, I see a woman wearing purple, smiling at the camera. On the surface, everything looked perfect. I loved my job, my family, my friends, and my home. Life was good — at least from the outside.
But the truth? I didn’t love me.
That’s why I chose purple that day. It gave me just enough confidence to show up in a photo without cringing. A little armour against the nagging voice inside that whispered: You’re not good enough.
Why I Didn’t Love Myself
If you’ve ever felt the same, you’ll know it’s not always about what’s happening around you. Sometimes the real battle is within. For me, the reasons stacked up like this:
I didn’t feel good enough — I thought I was just “lucky.”
I believed loving myself would make me selfish.
I felt trapped in a career path that no longer lit me up.
Anxiety was my daily companion because I was living a life designed for others, not me.
I pushed myself to be someone I wasn’t — what I now know was masking my ADHD.
It was exhausting. And it left me with a big question: why does loving yourself matter so much anyway?
Why Self-Love Matters
Self-love isn’t about arrogance or ego. It’s about giving yourself the same kindness, patience, and encouragement you’d give someone you care about.
When we love ourselves, everything shifts.
We set boundaries instead of burning out.
We treat others with more compassion because we’re not running on empty.
We show our children what it means to value themselves.
Imagine a world where kids grow up knowing they’re enough just as they are. They wouldn’t need to:
Get drunk to feel confident.
Hide behind addictions to numb uncomfortable feelings.
Avoid photos because they dislike their own reflection.
Comfort eat to fill emotional gaps.
Instead, they’d know how to:
Speak up when treated unfairly.
Protect their energy with healthy boundaries.
Build relationships based on communication and collaboration.
That’s not just self-love — that’s world-changing love.
The Ripple Effect of Self-Love
When one person starts treating themselves differently, it ripples out. Families shift. Friendships strengthen. Even workplaces become healthier.
I’ve seen it first-hand:
A woman once trapped by agoraphobia now travels the world with ease.
Another left a career that drained her and found a new path that lights her up.
A man weighed down by anger learned to let it go, saving his relationship in the process.
Each of them began by learning to love and accept themselves. And their courage created ripples in the lives of the people around them.
How to Start Loving Yourself
If you’re wondering where to begin, start small. Self-love isn’t about grand gestures — it’s in the everyday moments.
Notice the way you talk to yourself. Swap “I can’t” for “I’m learning.”
Wear colours or clothes that make you feel good. (Even if it’s just purple socks!)
Pause to appreciate who you are, not just what you do.
Choose one “should” to let go of today.
Write down three things you like about yourself before bed.
Tiny steps build a new foundation. Over time, those little choices add up to a life where you not only love the things around you — but also the person at the centre of it all.
Closing Reflection
I believe this deeply: if we loved ourselves more, we’d love each other more. The world doesn’t need more people pushing themselves to fit in or masking who they are. It needs more of us showing up as our full, imperfect, brilliant selves.
So, if you’re ready to start the journey from anxious self-doubt to genuine self-love, know that you don’t have to do it alone. I can help you — just as I’ve helped others find freedom, confidence, and joy.
Because loving yourself isn’t selfish. It’s the first step to healing yourself, your relationships, and maybe even the world.
Sarah Fish is an advanced hypnotherapist specialising in helping women with anxiety overcome nervousness, fear and overthinking. She supports women to stop dwelling on the past, to love themselves exactly as they are, and to build a life that they enjoy. She recorded this hypnosis audio to help you start your journey to loving yourself.